When I experienced my first pregnancy at 25yo, I had less than a handful of girlfriends who had recent pregnancies. And, for the most part, barring morning sickness and tiredness, they had fairly smooth or “normal” (no complications) pregnancies. So I didn’t know what I didn’t know. And I certainly didn’t hear about all the unexpected and challenging pains that were to come. Having gone through three pregnancies, I’ve experienced a full spectrum of surprises, from the smooth sailing of my first to the debilitating aches of my second and third. So here I am to uncover it all. I’m talking about it so you know you’re not alone.
Placenta Previa: A Hidden Challenge
During my first pregnancy, I was diagnosed with placenta previa, a condition where the placenta partially or completely covers the cervix. This can pose risks during pregnancy and delivery, so I was placed on pelvic rest (which essentially means no sex) to reduce complications. Luckily, my placenta previa self-corrected about a week before labor, which is a common outcome—about 1 in 200 pregnancies are affected by placenta previa, and many cases resolve on their own. I was required to see a maternal-fetal medicine specialist on a regular basis throughout my third trimester to check on the positioning of the placenta. What a relief I felt when I was finally in the clear.
When placenta previa returned during my subsequent pregnancies, I knew the drill: pelvic rest again. I was less concerned and stayed optimistic that it would self-correct again. And, thankfully, it did both times.
Sciatica: Pain That Stops You in Your Tracks
Sciatica became a major hurdle during my second and third pregnancies. This nerve pain is caused by pressure on the sciatic nerve, often from the growing uterus. Sciatica affects approximately 1 in 3 pregnant women, especially in the later stages of pregnancy. The sharp, shooting pain in my lower back and down my legs was unlike anything I had experienced before. Simple tasks like getting out of bed or bending over felt impossible. For me, it was so intense that Vay is still traumatized by the memory of seeing me crawl to the bathroom from our bed in the middle of the night because I couldn’t stand up or walk. Throughout my second and third trimesters, I had to sit or lie down by 8pm. After enduring the long days of working, doing chores, running errands, and taking care of my firstborn toddler, the sciatic pain became unbearable by early evening. The pain broke me, emotionally and physically, and I promised myself I wouldn’t do it (pregnancy) again. Sciatica was a constant reminder of how taxing pregnancy can be on your body.
If you’re experiencing sciatica, remedies like stretching, warm baths, and prenatal massage can provide temporary relief. I did try following some physical therapy stretching videos on YouTube but didn’t stay consistent. Due to such extreme pain, I saw a few specialists during my second pregnancy to rule out other conditions. One of them did recommend PT, but we both knew a lot of PT at the time (peak pandemic 2021) was done virtually. What a whirlwind.
Varicose Veins: More Than a Cosmetic Issue
Another unexpected challenge during my second and third pregnancies was varicose veins. While these bulging, swollen veins are often dismissed as a cosmetic issue, they can be incredibly uncomfortable and even painful. Pregnancy increases blood flow and hormonal changes that can weaken vein walls, making varicose veins a common occurrence—they affect about 1 in 3 pregnant women.
For me, they became severe and required extra care. It was all in the back of one leg, and the bulging veins caused pain even when I sat down. I felt so self-conscious. I wore long pants and invested in more midi dresses to hide the veins. Summer time was an emotional burden when I couldn’t wear shorts in fear of scaring others with the atrocity of these veins. My OBGYN tried to comfort me, sharing that she also had varicose veins in both her pregnancies and that it’s a genetic condition. She had varicose vein surgery done, and she recommended that to me for the future, especially if the veins didn’t subside and still caused discomfort. At that point, it’s not just a cosmetic issue; it’s a medical one. However, she suggested that I wait until I’m confident that we’re done having kids. If I get the surgery and then become pregnant again, the varicose veins would very likely resurface. When I Google “varicose veins in pregnancy,” most articles tell me that it’ll improve within months after pregnancy. Unfortunately, my postpartum varicose vein experience is uncommon, where they still exist quite apparently. Improvement, yes. But still very much there on my leg. I was last pregnant over 18 months ago, and to this day, I’m still avoiding shorts and skirts.
Although statistics say 1 in 3, I felt very alone in this particular experience. By now, I’ve known dozens of pregnant friends — and it seems that I’m 1 in dozens.
If you have varicose veins in pregnancy, it’s recommended to wear compression stockings to improve circulation and elevate your legs whenever possible to ease the discomfort.
First pregnancy vs subsequent pregnancies
So, yes, my first pregnancy was much smoother, easier, glowy-er than the rest. My baby bump didn’t show until well into my second trimester. My subsequent pregnancies, however… By the time I announced it to our family at around 10-12 weeks, my SIL very nonchalantly said, “Oh, I could already tell by looking at you weeks ago.” Welp, there goes my self-esteem. Haha. My bump/weight gain came in much earlier, as did the body aches. And that was the case with the second and then more so the third, which is why I told myself I was very much done.
What I’ve Learned
Each pregnancy brings its own set of challenges. In addition to all of the above, I had morning sickness when I was pregnant with my daughter (and not with my sons). I’ve told myself twice now (in my last two pregnancies) that that was it — although I wanted more kids, I wasn’t going to do it again. Alas, after all that, I still “forget.” The scars are still there, but it’s true that the joy of having my baby for a lifetime supersedes the difficult 9 months. (My OBGYN also shared that once these conditions occur in one pregnancy, they’ll most likely recur in the subsequent ones. So I’m pretty much guaranteed to experience it all over again when I make that decision.)
If you’re experiencing unexpected pregnancy pains, know that you’re not alone.
Here’s what helped me the most:
- Stay informed: Understanding conditions like placenta previa, sciatica, and varicose veins can help you navigate them with less stress.
- Ask for help: Whether it’s leaning on your partner, friends, or family, don’t hesitate to ask for support.
- Prioritize rest: Pelvic rest and elevating my legs weren’t just doctor’s orders—they were necessary for my well-being.
- Embrace professional care: Prenatal massages, physical therapy, and guidance from your OB-GYN. I wish I’d leaned into more of that.
Leave a Reply